"Artist:" Pitbull (And Christina Aguilera)
Chart Position at time of writing: 17 (Peak: 8)
Here it is if you haven't heard it: Bink!
Review: I'm going into this one with little experience, because I have not listened to much of Pitbull nor Aguilera. I have heard the song "Take On Me" though. Do you not know what that is? Just listen to the beat going on in the back of this song and you'll find out awful quick!
Do I mind current artists using old beats from old songs? Well maybe a little, but it's nothing that I'm going to get super angry over. Do I mind if an artist takes credit for it, or manipulates it into a way that makes no sense? Definitely. Pitbull probably (hopefully) didn't take credit for this, since the majority of this songs background is "Take On Me" by A-ha, which was released in 1985. The song isn't great, but at least the rhythm is used a lot better there than it is here, and it's also original! (The music video is awesome too.)
Here's the first, um... first verse?
Ask for money, and get advice,
Ask for advice, get money twice,
I'm from the Dirty, but that chico nice,
Ya'll call it a moment, I call it life.
So my first problem here is this is waaaayyy too short to be considered a verse. It then moves into a boring chorus that you will hear a few times in the song, but we'll get to that in a minute. The main problem here though is that "verse" makes no sense. "Ask for money and get advice," sure I can see that. But asking for advice and getting money twice? What money? Why twice? Did you get the same amount twice, or even the same dollar bills or whatever currency twice? Where is the Dirty? Like, is it in Detroit? Cleveland? Ghana? There are a lot of dirty places in the world, Pitbull, we need emphasis! In the last line, if Pitbull is implying that our successes last only a moment and his lasts for life, awesome. Way to sound like a jerk, you...jerk. Onto the chorus:
One day when the light is glowing,
I'll be in my castle golden,
But until the gates are open,
I just wanna feel this moment.
WOOOOHHHOOOHHHHOHHHHH
I just wanna feel this moment.
WOOHHHOOHOHHHHOOOOHOO
I just wanna feel this moment.
Mr. Worldwide! Christina Aguilera
Oye mamita, come on, dale,
Que la costa esta rica!
It then transitions into a slightly "modified," mostly ripped-off version of "Take On Me." Now, the chorus is a mess, and that is never a good thing in a song, obviously. First of all, "glowing" and "golden" don't rhyme. They don't even slant rhyme. If this rhyme was forced any harder into this chorus it would be considered a knife murder. Also, why does Christina Aguilera think that having your voice crack every three notes is charming? It does not sound good... granted, she's still better than most current "artists," so I guess she can get a pass there. However, you don't need to blare your voice like a siren every ten seconds with long, drawn out "wooooaaahhhs" because it's just unnecessary. It doesn't make this chorus any better. In fact it makes it worse. I believe that Pitbull is also referring to himself as "Mr. Worldwide," which may be selling himself a bit higher than he thinks... I doubt people in third world countries or even some first world countries care much about Pitbull. But hey, whatever helps ya sleep at night, bud. Also, Spanish. Just... take that as you may. Next verse!
Reporting live from the tallest building in Tokyo,
Long ways from the hard ways,
Filled with "So's" and "Oh, yea's",
Dade county always, 305 all day,
The Tokyo Skytree, if you're wondering, is the tallest building in all of Japan, in fact. At least Pitbull will say that he's a long way away from the troubles of the world, because the truth is good and he is correct! I don't know why he feels the need to report that from the tallest building in Tokyo, though. Most people probably won't be able to understand him... anyway, I don't know where Dade County is, and I'm not sure what "305 all day" means. I'm assuming that's the amount of money he makes daily, but that's not exactly gonna float him on as much as he thinks it is--getting to Japan is pretty expensive!
[Editor's note: Dade County is where Miami is located and 305 is the area code. You have to forgive Austin, we grew up in Randolph County, NC, so people don't really use area codes to refer to where they're from. "336 all day" would refer to the entirety of central North Carolina, so it doesn't mean anything...We're not very 'hood, sorry.]
Now baby we can parlay, or, baby, we can party.
She read books, especially about red rooms and tie ups,
I got her hooked, cause she seen me in a suit with a red tie tied up,
Meet and greet, nice to meet ya, but time is money,
Only difference is I own it,
Now let's stop time and enjoy this moment,
I don't think Pitbull knows what "parlay" means. It's a gambling term where you try to take a risk for more money... not just with cards either. I guess you could parlay with more than one person, but it'd be kind of counter-productive... I'd just stick to partying, dude. I've never read a book about red rooms and tie ups, and even at the youthful age of 19 I know what that means. (Eww, gross! Cooties!) Pitbull, c'mon man... we don't need to know what you're into or about your sex life... which is great, because that's what the rest of the verse is about! Also, I don't think you own time, that doesn't really seem possible, and I know for a fact that you can't stop time! I've tried. In the interest of time (heehee!), we'll just skip past the agonizing chorus once again and move onto the...second verse? Wait, I thought that was the second verse! Sigh...moving on...
I see the future but live for the moment.
Make sense, don't it? Ha.
No, actually. It doesn't. Since you can't fast forward time, I guess that the assumption is you'd live for the moment.
Now make dollars, I mean billions, I'm a genius, I mean brilliance.
From that grammar, no sir, you are not! This song has seven writers (granted two of them are Mr. Bull and Mrs. Aguilera) so you'd think they'd be able to come up with something better than that. I would have just settled for Pitbull going "I HAVE MORE MONEY THAN YOU!" and calling it a day there. This song, thus far, is not brilliance, unless the definition for brilliance has changed in the last few months.
This street is what scoot 'em,
And made em slicker, too slick with the ruler,
I've lost a lot, and learned a lot,
But I'm still undefeated like Shula.
Translation: The streets taught Pitbull how to write and rap. Because as we all know, road signs and trash can fires teach you how to rap. "Undefeated like Shula" is a reference to the Miami Dolphins 1972 football team, who had (and still have) the only perfect season in NFL history. The problem being he says he is still undefeated like Shula, but it should be noted that the next year, they lost two games, and the year after that, they didn't even get to the Super Bowl. Let's hope Pitbull's career is something like that...
I'm far from cheap, I break down companies with all my peeps,
Baby we can travel the world,
And I can give you all you can see,
Time is money,
Only difference is I own it,
Like a stop watch, let's stop time and enjoy this moment, dale.
Far from cheap, yet you "wrote" and produced a song like this, which is clearly a quick cash grab. There is no effort put into this if you haven't noticed. Crappy, repetitive lyrics, one beat is completely borrowed and the other is a generic 4/4 that plays in the back while Pitbull basically freestyles about how rich he is. Pitbull then reinstates that "TIME IS DA' MONEY" and that he can give you anything you see.
Matter of fact, I may use that the next time I'm at a party. "Hey baby, I can get you all you see. See that Empire State Building? I can get you it. See the moon? It's all yours. All you gotta do is sleep with me."
Pitbull, I'm sure you can get a lot of stuff...I doubt you can get everything. It's just a bit out of your league. Again, you can't own time, nor can you control it sir. I'm sorry to be the person to drop this startling piece of information on you, I really am.
Oh, then the chorus repeats. Then it's over.
Final Thoughts: I don't think it's the worst thing ever produced. I mean, "Cruise" is still a thing... but Pitbull is just stroking his di--ego throughout this entire song. I'm not even sure if "featuring Christina Aguilera" is an accurate term--she hardly plays any part in this past a crappy chorus. The back beats are ripped off and boring, everything is terribly generic, and honestly, the only real thing that I think is memorable in this song is something that already exists. Added to that are these mediocre at best and down-right moronic at worst lyrics... SEVEN PEOPLE! (Prepare to see this a lot from both of us) Seven people wrote this. It's just... so not good. And don't you dare say "songwriting is hard!" because with enough practice, no it isn't. We'll save that rant for another day though.
Alternatives? Well, if you like the generic, awful beat in the background of this song, maybe you'll like it more where it doesn't suck and actually sounds pretty good. If you like hip-hop talking about fame, then I strongly suggest "Superstar" by Lupe Fiasco. If you like Christina Aguilera in her pure, not-as-bad form, then I guess "Beautiful" isn't too bad. Past that, I guess you're outta luck.
Rating: 3/10. Cockroaches in the bathtub.
No comments:
Post a Comment